The Cat's Cry
by alexianFireflies
Summary: Humanstuck. Nepeta is struggling with bullying, self-harm and depression on a daily basis, she feels like no one cares. Unbeknownst to her, though, her friends have begun to notice something is wrong. Can they help her, or will they lose her forever? Rated T for self-harm, suicide attempt and bullying. Do not read if this will trigger you.
1. Be Nepeta

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****WARNING! There is graphic self-harm in this chapter. If this is triggering to you, please do not read it. There will be self-harm in later chapters as well, probably some graphic stuff in a few more chapters too. If you think this will be triggering to you, you probably shouldn't read this story.  
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******Disclaimer: I don't own Homestuck. That beautiful creation belongs to the genius that is Andrew Hussie.**

==} Be Nepeta.

You stand at the top of the apartment complex you live in, your blue-boot-clad toes peeking out over the edge of the roof. You shiver as you stand there, under the gray sky and in the chilly wind. Anticipation, anxiety, sadness and a 'what am I doing' feeling swirls through you and you take another shuddering breath as you clench your fists. You have been standing here for roughly ten minutes, looking down at the ground below, so far away, the few people down there resembling ants.

Your name is Nepeta Leijon, and today is the day you are finally going to end everything.

Why?

You simply can't take this anymore. Eat, sleep, fake cheerfulness, wash, rinse, repeat. Every single day, it's the same thing, and no one seems to notice or care anymore.

Equius, your best friend-or at least, you thought he was your best friend-has been growing more and more distant since your thirteenth birthday. Three years of that, and the two of you barely speak anymore. He spends all his time with his crush-almost-not-quite-girlfriend Aradia.

He doesn't need you anymore. He hasn't for a long time, you remind yourself, your inner tone clipped, sharp, struggling to reinforce the things you know are true.

Isn't there anyone besides Equius?

Yes, of course. Karkat, for one. The love of your life, you are certain of it, but he barely even seems to notice your feelings and doesn't often speak to you directly. It used to hurt a lot, but it's gotten a bit easier since he came out as gay...a bit. You think you are becoming numb to it…

Then there's Jade. Sweet, innocent Jade. You two used to be close friends, but something seems to have come between you of late, and it makes you sad just thinking about. If your blue clip-on cat tail could move, it would certainly be drooping now at the thought of the loss of your close friendship with Jade. You can't explain it, but somehow she has been more distant of late...

Terezi, too, now that you consider it. In fact, it's been almost a year since you last role-played with her, a fact that shocks you a bit-you hadn't realized it had been quite so long. You miss spending time with her, although you have to admit you were never as close to her as you were with Jade. Nevertheless, you used to count her among your friends...

You run your thoughts through the others once close to you-Feferi, Tavros, Aradia. Kanaya, eternally trying to get you to be a bit less hyper (your true demeanor of nearly two years unknown to her) but still seemingly fond of you. Heck, even Vwiskers-er, Vriska-wasn't so bad if you got right down to it. Sure, she gave you a little anxiety, but she was never awful to you outright. Gamzee, as well, who was always so laid-back and happy to be around everyone as long as no one messed with his friends. You can't help wondering how he would react to your current decision.

...Would he even care?

That thought brings you back to the ledge and the reason you are there.

Over the past three years, your friends have begun to drift farther and farther away. You aren't included in anything anymore, and most of them don't even greet you in the hallway. School and life have become something close to a hell-at least when you had your friends, your consistently absent parents and the bullies at school didn't bother you so much. Without them, you have no one.

You don't even bother trying to keep up the facade anymore-you have dropped roleplaying and shipping altogether. The only thing you continue to do is express your constant love of cats, although even that has dulled to nothing more than a slight and mostly pleasureless interest.

You are not entirely sure what the last straw for you was. Over the past year, things have gotten much worse. Your things are stolen, you have been kicked, punched, shoved...your stomach, bag and legs are so bruised and scraped and on occasion, cut, that you aren't even sure what you look like without the abuses anymore. But that is still fairly typical. You think maybe it was those days where they threw you in the garbage, or the one time they handcuffed you to a door, but that seems too close to your norm to be the thing. Maybe it was the sudden absence of your hat after gym class three weeks ago, an absence Equius hasn't even noticed.

Maybe it was this Wednesday that broke you, only two days ago, when they burned your book, the one full of pictures of old times and drawings from days past. That book was the only thing you'd had left in terms of comfort. You saw your friends so little these days that the book had become the closest thing you had to them. Whenever things got really bad, you'd look through the book and remember the good things in life.

Watching that book get destroyed was like ripping your heart from your chest.

You sigh and look down over the edge again. You have stood here long enough. It is, you suppose, time to do this.

One foot goes out over the ledge and-

Your iPod makes a pinging sound.

You pause. That ping is something you haven't heard in a while. It's the ping of Pesterchum, a program similar to IM that you and your friends all use, or used to use, to communicate.

You can't help but wonder who it is, and so you step back and take out your phone. Surely you owe it to your friends to at least read their messages.

As you unlock your iPod and click on the Trollian app, a part of you feels that you are stalling. You resolutely ignore this part. You will get back to the roof right after this.

You read the message. It's from Equius! You can't even remember the last time you two spoke. He's always with Aradia. Since they're friends of yours, you don't begrudge them their abandonment of you in favor of each other. You just try and be happy that they are happy.

Nonetheless, you cannot deny the slight smile that crosses your face at unexpected and somewhat unhoped for contact from Equius.

- centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling arsenicCatnip [AC] -

CT: D - Nepeta

CT: D - Myself and the others would like you to join us

You reread the message a few times with wide, disbelieving eyes. You can hardly believe they are asking you to join them.

AC: :33 Okay! Doing what, and where?

Yes, that seems like the answer you would give.

CT: D - We will be hanging out, as Terezi says, at Kanaya's house

CT: D - She suggested it

CT: D - Because it has been so long since we 'hung out'

AC: :33 She is right, it has been furever since I saw you and our furriends!

AC: :33 I will be there!

CT: D - E%ellent

CT: D - I will see you there, then

CT: D - It is at five o'clock

CT: D - In two hours

AC: :33 I know that five is two hours from now, silly! I will see you later!

- arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased responding to message -

You take another step back from the ledge. You have purromised-oops, you mean promised-Equius that you will be at Kanaya's get-together later. It would not be right to promise that and then hurl yourself off a ledge. It would probably leave Equius wondering why, and you don't want that. You just want to go quietly, at a time when no one is missing you.

You stand there for a moment, the breeze causing your olive green coat to flap gently and your black, messy hair to become even messier. You miss your hat. You stare at the ledge, debating the merits of jumping anyway, but you already know you won't.

That doesn't change the decision, though. You are merely postponing it.

You sigh quietly. If you are postponing your final act, you should probably go do that homework you had decided to not even attempt. You can feel the weight returning to your shoulders as you turn and slowly walk away. You can already feel the distraction coming on, one of many things that will prevent you from doing your homework. Then again, you are not sure you even ought to try. It isn't like you really do very well on any of it...

Nevertheless, upon return to the apartment you technically share with your almost always absent parents, you go to your bag and remove your homework. You place the geometry homework on the table. As a sophomore, you are currently in geometry. It's not too hard, but...well, it's no bowl of catnip either.

You look down at the first problem, picking up your pencil to begin...

And find yourself staring at it for ten straight minutes without even comprehending the numbers on the page.

You sigh and put the pencil down. Clearly, working just isn't in the cards for you right now. Maybe you'll ask Sollux for help later. He is a genius with both math and computers.

A plaintive mew brings your attention to the floor, where your white cat, Pounce, is looking up at you. She clearly wants to be fed, and so you go and fetch her bowl. Putting some cat food in it, you put the bowl down in her corner.

You have had Pounce for as long as you can remember, and she is as close to family as you have come. With your parents basically never around, your running joke used to be that you were raised by her. Despite being sixteen, your little cat is still as spry and energetic as ever, and for a moment you realize you almost left her behind. Without you, who will take care of Pounce?

But then you remember that your next door neighbors take in all the strays and such, and figure they probably would take care of her after your death. Hopefully Pounce wouldn't be too sad, but the strong attachment seems to run one way only of late.

Standing, you leave Pounce alone so she can eat and head into the other room. You are lucky, at least, to be living in an apartment that allows cats.

You flop down on the couch and turn on the TV. Pounce joins you a moment later. It's the first time she's done that in a while. You ignore the TV in favor of attempting to pick her up and cuddle her. She lets you do this for a few moments before scrambling free and darting off.

You shrug, and then gaze at the TV. You flip to the animal channel and watch a show on lions.

The time passes quickly, and suddenly it's 4:30, the time you have to leave to get to Kanaya's. Standing, you tug your sleeves, ensuring that they cover your arms, and try not to miss your hat too much. You carefully paste a genuine-looking smile on your face and then head for the door. You go down four flights of stairs from your apartment and start walking to Kanaya's. Despite being sixteen, you can't drive yet and have made no effort to learn how to drive either. On the bright side, you live pretty close to everything, and being as it is currently nearing the beginning of November, the air is brisk and cool, something you enjoy.

As you walk, you wonder what the evening holds. Probably a lot of being ignored. But you'll smile like you always do and pretend you don't care and squeal over ships you no longer keep track of and ask people to role-play with you, even though it's been forever and you are definitely out of practice.

One half hour later, you stand outside Kanaya's door. Hesitating, you listen for voices inside. You are fifteen minutes late, and you can already hear Tavros's little mumble, Gamzee's low and slightly rough drawl, Karkat's snappish tone, Eridan's stuttering and slightly accented voice, Vriska's second soprano pitch, Jade's cheery lilt, Feferi's bubbly voice, Kanaya's (of course) calm and collected words, Rose's similarly calm but slightly lower pitch, and Equius's low voice.

So Aradia, Dave, John, Terezi, Sollux and you have yet to arrive.

Well, no time like the present to knock, preferably before they see you standing out here alone in very un-Nepeta-like fashion.

You go to knock, but before you can get your hand to the door, it opens.

"Hello, Nepeta," Kanaya greets you in her warm and cordial way. "Please come in." She steps aside to let you in.

You step inside and immediately put the smile on your face as you scan for Equius. You have to keep up with expectations. "EQUIUS!" you exclaim as you tackle pounce him to the floor and hug him. You stand and let him get up after a second.

"Greetings, Nepeta," Equius says. There is a hint of a smile on his face and in his tone.

"Hi, Equius! How are you? How's Aradia?" You put on your little 'aren't you two so adorable' smirk.

"I'm quite well. Aradia is...ahm...also...well..." Equius blushes and seems a bit uncomfortable as he coughs slightly. "Is it warm in here?"

You giggle. "Well, good. I haven't seen you around much lately, we should hang out more, best furriend!" You don't usually throw your cat puns into speech, but you have to keep up the facade. The cat pun makes you seem all the more cheery.

"Yes, of course," Equius agrees, but is it just you or is there a bit of hesitation in his voice?

You are distracted from wondering as Sollux arrives at that moment.

"Sollux!" Eridan nearly tackles his boyfriend and a slight smile arrives on your face. Eridan came out in freshman year, and Sollux had consequently found the courage to tell Eridan of his crush on the admittedly needy boy. Their arguing, something that had been quite constant, had promptly given way to a relationship.

Sollux scowled slightly. "Eridan, get off," he complains, pushing Eridan off him. Despite the complaint, there is now a slight smile on his face. "It'th only been three hourth thince we latht thaw each other, you know."

Eridan ignores Sollux and basically latches on to the heterochromatic boy. Sollux's eyes are very pretty, you think-one is a bright blue, the other an amber in color, although it's more a crimson amber than an orange one. He wears red and blue glasses over them most of the time.

Sollux sighs and seems to resign himself to having his boyfriend stuck to him, although his lips show the beginning of a smile.

You remember the geometry homework, crumpled up in your pocket now. No time like the present. You approach the two. "Hi, Sollux!" you chirp.

"Oh, hey Nep. Long time, no thee," Sollux observes. "How you been?"

"Great! How are you?" you ask him with your smile. Your cheeks are starting to hurt.

"Oh, good. Thith idiot ith conthtantly driving me inthane," Sollux says with a smirk, "but I'm good."

"That's good. Um...I was wondering...could you pawsibly help me with my geometry homework?" you ask him.

Sollux frowns slightly. "Um, sure," he says, although he's giving you a bit of a strange look.

"Okay, thanks!" you say cheerfully, although you're wondering what that look means.

"Um...come on, we can do that now," Sollux offers. "Kanaya, can me and Nepeta borrow your thtudy for a few minuteth?"

Kanaya nods. "Of course. It's just down the hall that way."

Sollux nods and pushes Eridan slightly. "Eridan, I can't help Nepeta with you thtuck to my thide. I'll be back in a bit."

Eridan scowls. "Oh, all right." He heads over to talk to Feferi, his best friend.

Sollux nods and heads to the study. You follow, taking out your homework and trying to smooth it out.

In the study, Sollux nods for you to sit down as he leans against the desk. "All right, tho what'th your trouble?"

You look at the page. "...Everything?"

Sollux sighs. "Okay, well, let'th thtart with the firtht problem then..."

Half an hour and one massive headache later, you return with Sollux. You sigh inwardly. You hadn't realized just how behind you were in math...

As you walk in, you see that everyone else has arrived. Sollux returns to Eridan as soon as the two of you reenter the room, while Equius has become occupied with Aradia. Gamzee and Karkat are curled up in a corner, you observe with a slight twinge. Terezi, however, comes over to talk to you, adjusting her red glasses as she does.

You will never understand how the blind girl manages to offer such an uncanny appearance of sight. You don't think you really need to force a smile for her, though. Nevertheless, you smile as she approaches, in case anyone is watching. "Hi, Terezi!"

"Nepeta. How are you?" the other girl says with a little smirk.

"I'm fine," you answer. It strikes you how many of them are asking how you are. Has it really been that long? "It's been a while, hasn't it? Hey, maybe you'd like to role-play again sometime?" You offer purely out of an attempt to keep the fakery going. You have no real desire for role-play and hope she declines...although if you're honest, part of you wants her to say yes, if only to prove she is still your friend.

"Not really. I'm not much into that stuff anymore," Terezi says. Her tone sounds a bit like she wants to wrinkle her nose.

"Oh." You are half relieved and half upset.

Terezi frowns suddenly. "Are you sure you're all right?"

You jump slightly. "Of course! Why wouldn't I be?" you say, struggling to keep nervousness from your tone. You'd forgotten how perceptive Terezi is to tone. "Um, I should go talk to Fef! Haven't said hi to her yet, and it's rude to ignore a furriend, right?" You giggle for effect before making a beeline for Feferi.

Feferi. Out of all of you, she is probably the most popular because she's so nice. Then again, her fish puns bring her down a bit in the social world, but whatever. "Hi, Fef!" you say, taking advantage of a lull in her conversation with Kanaya.

"Hey, cuttlefish! It's been a reely long time, huh? How've you been?" Feferi replies enthusiastically. She frowns slightly. "Where's your hat?"

"I'll speak with you later," Kanaya says to Feferi as she walks away.

"I, um, lost it," you say quickly. "But I'm great! How 'bout you?" You glance at Kanaya, wondering what that was about.

"Oh, I'm doing reely well! But I never sea you anymore, cuttlefish! You found a cooler group of friends or something?" Feferi jokes.

Yes, the floor and the wall, you meet with them almost every day. In fact, the three of you are very close. "No, of course not, don't be silly!" you say with a smile. "I've just been so busy. I'm really struggling in math." The second it's out, you regret it. You wouldn't usually say something like that.

Luckily, Fef doesn't notice. "Yeah, I heard Sol was helping you with geometry. Eridan was talking about it for ten straight minutes." She rolls her eyes. "I love him to death, but he has to focus less on the relationship as the end-all, be-all, you know?"

You nod. Eridan has always been that way-a bit obsessed with any romantic relationship or crush he had. Still, Sollux is obviously handling it well. The two have been together a little over a year, after all.

"Sollux is pretty understanding about it, though," Feferi continues. "He's actually pretty good at handling Eridan."

You nod again. "Hey, what were you and Kanaya talking about?"

Feferi pauses. "Oh...you know. School and...stuff."

You frown slightly. Fef has never been very good at lying...and that sounds like a lie. But you won't say that. "Oh, okay." You struggle to think of something to say.

Apparently Fef is having a hard time with that too, because she suddenly says, "Oh, um...I just remembered, I have a question for Rose! I'll talk to you later, Nep." Feferi takes off in a manner similar to that of your own when you left Terezi.

"O...okay..." you say, watching her go. You stand there against the wall, unsure of what to do. After a few moments, though, Jade comes up to you.

"Hi, Nepeta!" she says cheerfully.

"Hi, Jade," you answer, plastering on the smile again. It's beginning to feel tired and your cheeks hurt even more.

"It's been a while, huh?" she says to you.

You nod. "Yes, it has..." How many times are you going to have (basically) the same conversation?

"So...how've you been?" Jade says with a smile.

"I'm good," you answer. "You?"

"I'm-" Whatever Jade is about to say is interrupted by Kanaya.

"Excuse me." Kanaya calls the attention of the others. "As requested by some of you here, we are going to play Twister in the other room."

"Oh, Twister!" Jade exclaims. "Come on, Nepeta!" She grabs your arm and tugs you toward the other room.

You freeze as you feel a twinge in your arm, and a few seconds later something trickles down your arm. You snatch your arm back and say, "Uh, Jade, I just remembered, I have to go." You make a beeline for Kanaya, leaving Jade standing there looking surprised. It would be rude to leave without saying goodbye. "Kanaya?"

Kanaya looks at you and frowns. "Is something wrong, Nepeta?"

"I...just remembered I have homework," you say, struggling to sound like...you. "I'd love to stay, but I should really get it done."

"It is a Friday," Kanaya points out. "And you've only been here an hour."

"Yeah, but...better sooner than later, right?" you point out, panic rising as more trickles accompany the first one. "Look, I really should go. I'll see you all Monday!" You don't pause to hear Kanaya's answer, simply bolting out the door and dashing down the street.

A few blocks down, you slow and pull up the sleeve of your right arm to reveal a large collection of cuts, scars and burns. You eye a few of the deeper and more recent ones-three of them have cracked open and started bleeding again. It's not too heavy, but it's not exactly a small amount. You hold your arm aloft and try not to drip on yourself. You just have to make it home, where you can wash off the blood and maybe bandage it.

You walk home as quickly as possible, making it there in twenty five minutes. By then the bleedings has mostly stopped and there is blood beginning to dry on your arm. You quickly remove your jacket and wash your arm. Deciding the bandage isn't necessary-it's pretty much stopped bleeding-you check over your jacket for blood. Luckily, there isn't any. Breathing a sigh of relief, you sit on the couch and curl up in a ball. Somehow, that gathering was so depressing for you-none of them had talked to you in so long that they didn't even know what was going on in your life, nor you theirs. Not to mention how few of them actually talked to you. And Equius...he barely even spoke to you... And then there was the panic of the moments before you left.

You sigh. This evening was not worth it, and you can't see yourself doing it again. Besides, it was just a pointless hour of faking it, pretending to be happy and smiling until your cheeks hurt.

That concerns you a bit. You don't remember the last time you genuinely smiled, and smiling for an hour made your cheeks hurt? Do you really smile that little now?

You uncurl and lean your head against the couch cushions. You feel exhausted and you don't even have the energy to go back to the roof. All you want to do is cease to exist. Not even die. Just stop being.

You force yourself up. Only one thing helps at times like this...

You take off your olive green jacket and leave it on the couch, leaving you in your black T-shirt with its olive green Leo sign on it. You are a Leo, and olive green is your favorite color, and this is your favorite T-shirt. You wear it as often as is possible.

As such, it has seen a lot of what is about to come.

You go to the bathroom and open the drawer. Inside are several straight razors, glinting silver in the artificial glow of the overhead light. Taking one out, you stand for a moment, letting the feelings well up, the exhaustion, the sadness, the pure depression... Then you slash down into your left arm. It flashes silver and then crimson, and then there's a pale, thin slit in your arm. Contrary to belief, it doesn't start bleeding right away-it takes a few moments for the blood to flow, but when it does, there's a lot of it. You make a few more slashes and then hold your arm over the sink. There are four of them. But it's still not enough...

You add more slashes, making nine. You are now halfway up your arm and it's still not enough, despite the dripping of blood now coming down your arm into the sink.

You grab for the hair curler. You suppose it's odd, but the sharp, straight edge makes a perfectly straight slit of a burn. You wait for it to heat up, impatient, and then grab it and dig it into your arm repeatedly. Four burns later, you are gasping and finally rid of the feelings. You hold your arm over the sink and let it drip. The blood flow is slowing, though, and you start to clean off the excess and paste bandages over the cuts and burns-the big kinds that cover a lot of cuts at once. You don't bother to clean them or put ointment on them. The bandages are just to stop the bleeding-you don't bother to help with the healing.

You put away the curler and the razor, thanking God yet again that you pretty much live alone. Really, most of your friends do-most of them have important jobs that require them to travel a lot. They pay well, but within the group of people you used to consider your friends, only Rose, Jade and John have parents who are home even some of the time. You used to consider them your family...but you guess that's not true anymore.

Sighing, you clean up the sink and then change into your PJs, despite it only being 7:30. Your arm is beginning to hurt, especially the burns, but you ignore it and put your jacket back on. It's sort of a comfort thing for you. Collapsing on the couch again, you fall asleep to the TV on.

THISISALINEBREAKDEALWITHITFANFICTIONLINEBREAKLINEBREAKLINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEBREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAK

When you wake the next morning, you are groggy, disoriented, and your arm is burning. You sit up with a groan. Your head is pounding and you don't know why.

Glancing at the clock, you realize it is 1pm. You have successfully slept through the morning. You sigh. You seem to spend a lot of time sleeping lately and you aren't sure why.

A ping draws your attention to your laptop. Trollian again. You have it on both your iPod and your laptop, and it would seem someone is trying to get ahold of you. Opening your laptop, you are surprised to realize that it is not someone but several someones. To be precise, Jade, Kanaya, Equius, and Feferi.

You answer Jade first, sighing slightly as you open it. You are only doing this because she is the most recent one to have contacted you.

- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering arsenicCatnip [AC] -

GG: hi nepeta!

GG: nepeta?

GG: okay well I just wanted to see if you were doing okay...

AC: :33 I am fine, thank you!

A bit out of character, maybe, and a total lie, as your arm reminds you.

GG: are you sure?

GG: I mean, you kind of left really fast last night.

GG: did something happen?

AC: :33 Of course not. I purromise I am fine :3

GG: Okay...

AC: :33 Now stop worrying, I'm doing purrfectly well :3

GG: if you say so Nepeta

GG: but just so you know we are all kind of worried about you

AC: :33 Awww, well you guys shouldn't worry beclaws I am purrfectly fine and evfurything is okay.

GG: okay, I guess

- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering arsenicCatnip [AC] -

You frown. You have a feeling you did not convince her, but maybe some normal behavior over the next few days will placate her. Then she can return to not really noticing you and you can...well, you know.

Huh. Funny how you're having trouble thinking it now when just yesterday you had no problem with it.

Shaking your head slightly, you open Kanaya's message with a sigh. You have a feeling you know what these are all about.

- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling arsenicCatnip [AC] -

GA: Nepeta, Are You Certain You Are All Right?

GA: Granted, You Said You Were When We Spoke Last Night

GA: However I Would Like To Be Certain

GA: Please Respond Whenever You See This

AC: :33 Sorry to keep you waiting, Kanaya! I was sleeping

AC: :33 I am purrfectly fine, don't worry!

AC: :33 I had fun last night but I really did have homework I needed to do

AC: :33 I didn't want it bothering me all weekend.

AC: :33 Sorry I left early though!

AC: :33 I had fun while I was there

AC: :33 And I am purrfectly fine like I said last night so don't worry!

GA: I See

GA: I Am Glad To Hear That

GA: Perhaps Next Time You Can Stay For The Full Get-Together

AC: :33 I hope so, that would be fun!

AC: :33 I kind of still have some work to do though

AC: :33 So I will see you Monday in school!

GA: Very Well

GA: Good Luck With Your Work

- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased trolling arsenicCatnip [AC] -

You sigh. Two down, two to go. You scowl at Kanaya's last message-luck has nothing to do with it. You just don't understand anything in the work... And for some reason her message feels like a bit of an insult. You don't know why, because Kanaya has never once and never would insult you and you know it was meant in her usual caring fashion, but it feels that way. But at least you can be thankful that she believes you.

The next message you choose to open is the one from Feferi.

- cuttlefishCuller [CC] began trolling arsenicCatnip [AC] -

CC: )(i t)(ere cuttlefis)(!

CC: I just wanted to make sure you were reely okay

CC: You vanis)(ed on us last nig)(t! 38(

CC: Kanaya said you )(ad work to do, but I was just worried

CC: You usually don't leave so quickly and not wit)(out saying goodbye!

CC: Is everyt)(ing okay? Reely?

AC: :33 Wow, evfuryone is on here today!

AC: :33 But yes, I am purrfectly fine! :3

AC: :33 I just remembered about some really important work I had to do and I wanted to get it done, you know?

CC: O)( yea)(, I can get t)(at 38)

CC: And yes, we've reely gotten back into using t)(is t)(ing!

CC: You s)(ould come on it more often 38)

AC: :33 I purrobably will, I mean it is where all of my furriends are!

AC: :33 Did I miss anything last night?

CC: Well, only me, Gamzee, Karkat, Sollux and Eridan ended up playing Twister 38(

CC: But it was fun anywave!

CC: It got more interesting after t)(at 38)

CC: Kanaya got Eridan to dress up in fancy clot)(es! I HAV—E PICTUR—ES 38D

CC: And t)(en we watc)(ed one of Karkat's rom com movies!

AC: :33 Sounds like fun! Too bad I missed out on the fashion and Karkitty's romcom!

AC: :33 Purrhaps I could see the pictures?

AC: :33 And if we evfur play Twister again I will play too! :3

CC: Of COURS—E you can sea the pictures!

CC: Moments as good as these are too good to not share 38)

CC: I am sure Karkat would be )(appy to let you borrow )(is movie!

AC: :33 Purrobably, but I am not sure it would be as much fun watching it by myself

CC: I would be )(appy to watc)( it wit)( you cuttlefis)(! 38D It was a pretty good movie, I would like to sea it again 38)

AC: :33 Fur real? That sounds fun! Okay :3

AC: :33 Sorry now but I have to go!

AC: :33 Schoolwork :P I will see you Monday, okay?

CC: Sure t)(ing cuttlefis)(! Monday, sea you then glub glub! 38)

- cuttlefishCuller [CC] ceased trolling arsenicCatnip [AC] -

You close out the window. Just one more person to go.

- centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling arsenicCatnip [AC] -

CT: D - Nepeta, I would like to speak with you

CT: D - I am concerned about your abrupt departure last night

CT: D - Are you all right

AC: :33 Of course, silly! I'm purrfectly fine. I left beclaws I had some work to do

AC: :33 I left quickly beclaws I didn't think to stop and say bye befur I left.

AC: :33 Sorry!

CT: D - It is fine

CT: D - I was merely concerned that something had happened

AC: :33 Well, that is clawlearly not the case but thank you fur asking :3

AC: :33 I still have some homework though

AC: :33 So if you'll excuse me, I have to go. I will see you Monday!

CT: D - Very well

CT: D - You are making a wise decision

CT: D - I will see you Monday.

- centaursTesticle [CT] ceased trolling arsenicCatnip [AC] -

You sigh and lay down on the couch, curling up under the blanket. You do have homework, that wasn't a lie, but you simply do not have the energy to do it. You're just very tired...

You think you will go back to sleep...

**So...yeah. This is just a story that's been floating around in my brain, and I decided to write it.**

**Reviews are welcome! Oh, and if you think any character's OOC, or I left out any quirks in the pestering and trolling, PLEASE tell me! It's my first Homestuck fanfic and I want this to be done well.**

**And the ==} is because it wouldn't let me use the arrow symbol that's in the chapter title. :P**

**See ya! :3**

**-Ashe**


	2. Be Kanaya

**Second chapter, yeah!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Homestuck. I just love it.**

==} Be Kanaya.

You are now Kanaya Maryam, and you are concerned for your friend Nepeta, who has been acting quite oddly of late. You rarely see her in school anymore and are beginning to wonder if she skips, and while her jacket is now necessary as it is (an admittedly snowless) November, she was wearing it all through the summer as well. Not to mention her sudden and almost panicked departure last night.

Yes, you are concerned for her. Her behavior has been oddly erratic as of the past few weeks, she rarely speak to you or anything of the others, and she seems almost...too cheery. This is not something you thought you would ever say or think about Nepeta, but it is true.

You have just finished speaking with Nepeta via Trollian. She insists that she is fine, but something was strange about that conversation.

You reread it.

- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling arsenicCatnip [AC] -

GA: Nepeta, Are You Certain You Are All Right?

GA: Granted, You Said You Were When We Spoke Last Night

GA: However I Would Like To Be Certain

GA: Please Respond Whenever You See This

AC: :33 Sorry to keep you waiting, Kanaya! I was sleeping

AC: :33 I am purrfectly fine, don't worry!

AC: :33 I had fun last night but I really did have homework I needed to do

AC: :33 I didn't want it bothering me all weekend.

AC: :33 Sorry I left early though!

AC: :33 I had fun while I was there

AC: :33 And I am purrfectly fine like I said last night so don't worry!

GA: I See

GA: I Am Glad To Hear That

GA: Perhaps Next Time You Can Stay For The Full Get-Together

AC: :33 I hope so, that would be fun!

AC: :33 I kind of still have some work to do though

AC: :33 So I will see you Monday in school!

GA: Very Well

GA: Good Luck With Your Work

- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased trolling arsenicCatnip [AC] -

Yes, something is odd here. Her excuse for leaving and reasoning behind her near-panic makes very little sense, not to mention the excuse of homework yet again to end the conversation. It is almost as though she is avoiding speaking to you or something.

Strange indeed. While Nepeta has been increasingly distant, she has never outright tried to avoid you, nor can you recall her ever inventing a reason to end a conversation. Granted, it has been some time since you spoke with her via Trollian, but not long enough for her to completely change her behavior, or at least you don't think it has been long.

After some careful consideration, you decide it would behoove you to open Trollian and speak with the others. Perhaps they have noticed something odd or can offer an explanation.

- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling centaursTesticle [CT] -

You decide to contact Equius first. He is, after all, Nepeta's best friend.

GA: Equius, I Am Concerned For Nepeta

GA: She Seems Off To Me

GA: And I Was Wondering If You Had Also Noticed This

CT: D - Yes, but I am not sure what to think

CT: D - Nepeta says she is fine

CT: D - Although her offered e%planation for leaving last night is a bit odd

GA: Yes, I Was Thinking The Same Thing

GA: She Has Been Behaving Somewhat Strangely Of Late

GA: But I Cannot Explain Why

GA: Nor Can I Think Of A Reason

CT: D - I cannot find an e%planation either

CT: D - It is puzzling to say the least

GA: When Is The Last Time She Spoke To You

CT: D - We spoke briefly last night

GA: No, I Mean A Lengthy Conversation

CT: D - ...

CT: D - I don't remember

GA: Has She Been Avoiding You

CT: D - I don't know

CT: D - To be honest I have not really made an effort to speak with her recently

CT: D - But now that I think about it

CT: D - That is because she rarely seems to want to talk anymore

GA: So She Is, In A Sense, Avoiding You

GA: By Simply Appearing As Though She Does Not Want To Speak With You

GA: Until You Cease Attempting To Speak With Her

CT: D - Yes

GA: Interesting

GA: Thank You, Equius

- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased trolling centaursTesticle [CT] -

You frown and sit back in the armchair you seated yourself in. Nepeta, disinterested in talking to her best friend? Definitely strange...but you want to speak with a few other people before you jump to any conclusions. You think for a moment and then decide Jade would be a good person to talk with next.

- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling gardenGnostic [GG] -

GA: Jade, I Was Wondering If You Could Answer A Question For Me

GA: When You Spoke With Nepeta Last Night

GA: Did Her Behavior Seem Strange To You

GG: well I mean she kind of freaked out right before she left!

GG: and she seemed a little down, it was weird.

GA: I See

GA: Did You Ask Her If Anything Was Wrong

GG: Well no...but I asked her if she was okay!

GG: she said she was fine, but she seemed kinda sad and she left right after.

GG: and I asked her today over Pesterchum

GG: and she said she was fine, but then she was in an awful hurry to get rid of me.

GG: It just doesn't seem like her and I'm worried!

GA: I See

GA: I Have Also Noticed She Seems Different

GA: But I Can't Figure Out Why

GA: Equius Has Also Noticed

GA: But I Wanted To Be Sure It Was More Than Just Two Of Us

GG: nope, it's definitely more than the two of you

GG: I've noticed too!

GA: Yes, We've Established That

GA: I Need To Speak With Some Of The Others First

GA: But I Think We May Need To Speak In Person

GA: To Discuss What May Be Going On With Nepeta

GG: okay! let me know if we are going to do that!

- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased trolling gardenGnostic [GG] -

You think for a moment. Jade knows Nepeta fairly well, but she still isn't the most perceptive person. Yet she noticed Nepeta was sad. Either it's worse than you realized, or Nepeta really let her guard down around Jade. You suppose it could be both, but you aren't sure.

You still aren't done, though. You want to ask the others who spoke with Nepeta last night what they thought-specifically, Sollux, Feferi and Terezi. Then you are thinking you may as well contact the people Nepeta didn't talk to last night but who you know Nepeta is (or was, at least) close to: Gamzee, Tavros and Aradia. You are debating whether or not to contact Eridan, Vriska and Karkat.

You decide to contact Terezi first.

- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC] -

GA: Terezi, I Was Wondering If You Noticed Anything Strange When Talking To Nepeta Last Night

GC: STR4NG3 HOW?

GA: Did She Seem Unhappy Or Different

GC: W3LL NOW TH4T YOU M3NT1ON 1T...

GC: SH3 4SK3D M3 1F 1 WOULD ROL3PL4Y W1TH H3R 4G41N SOM3T1M3

GA: ...

GA: That Seems Fairly Normal

GC: 1 W4SNT DON3 Y3T! :[

GA: Oh

GA: You Were Silent For A While

GA: I Thought You Had Finished

GC: 1 GOT D1STR4CT3D

GA: Please Continue Then

GC: W3LL L1K3 1 S41D

GC: SH3 4SK3D M3 1F 1'D ROL3PL4Y W1TH H3R SOM3T1M3

GC: BUT 1 SA1D NO

GC: B3C4USE TH4TS R34LLY NOT MY TH1NG 4NYMOR3

GC: 1 W4S GO1NG TO M4YB3 SUGG3ST SOM3TH1NG 3LS3 THOUGH

GC: BUT TH3N SH3 S41D OH

GC: 4ND SH3 SOUND3D...

GC: W3LL, P4RTLY UPS3T OR D1S4PPO1NTED OR WH4T3V3R YOU WOULD C4LL 1T

GC: BUT P4RTLY SORT OF R3L13V3D

GC: 4ND 1T WAS ODD B3C4US3 WE 4LW4YS H4D FUN W1TH TH4T

GC: OR 4T L34ST SH3 D1D

GC: BUT FOR H3R TO B3 R3L13V3D 4BOUT NOT ROL3PL4Y1NG?

GC: 1TS JUST NOT LIK3 H3R

GC: SH3 LOV3S ROL3PL4Y1NG

GC: SO 1 4SKED H3R 1F SH3 W4S R34LLY OK4Y

GC: 4ND SH3 GOT 4LL SH1FTY 4ND N3RVOUS 4ND MAD3 SOM3 3XCUS3 4BOUT H4V1NG NOT T4LK3D TO F3F3R1

GC: 4ND 1 KNOW 4 SH1TTY M4D3-UP-ON-TH3-SPOT 3XCUS3 WH3N 1 H34R ON3!

GC: 1T W4S W31RD

GA: That Does Sound Strange

GA: And Very Un-Nepeta-Like

GC: Y3S

GC: BUT WHYD YOU W4NT TO KNOW?

GA: Myself, Jade And Equius Are Concerned

GA: Nepeta Seems Unlike Herself

GA: And We Think Something May Be Going On

GA: But Can't Figure Out What

GA: I Want To Be Sure Before We Talk About This Further Or Do Anything

GA: So I Am Asking You And Everyone Else If They Have Noticed Nepeta Seeming Different

GC: OH

GC: W3LL Y34H 1 GU3SS TH1S 1S C4US3 FOR CONC3RN

GC: L3T M3 KNOW WH4T YOU D3C1D3 TO DO 4ND WH3N

GA: Certainly

GA: This Conversation Has Certainly Been Helpful

GA: But I Would Like To Speak With Some Of The Others Still

GA: I Will Let You Know Anything New

GC: OK4Y

GA: I Will Speak With You Either Later Or Monday Then

- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC] -

You frown. Nepeta, not wanting to roleplay? You know that she has always loved roleplaying, and Terezi is quite good at roleplaying, or so Nepeta told you. Besides, Nepeta was always friendly with Terezi. For her to be relieved about not spending time with or avoiding speaking to Terezi makes little sense. And Nepeta would never pass up a roleplaying partner or opportunity, and you have always observed Nepeta's reaction to a decline to roleplay as a disappointed reaction, not a relieved one.

This is indeed a strange development.

You contemplate who to speak with next. After some thought, you decide on Feferi. After all, you have already mentioned your concerns to her-you were going over them with her when Nepeta joined the two of you last night mid-conversation. Feferi will probably have kept a better eye out for anything strange, and more likely to not simply dismiss it.

- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC] -

GA: Feferi, I Was Wondering If You Noticed Nepeta Acting Strangely Last Night.

CC: Actually, yea)(. S)(e was a little weird during our conversation, I t)(ink maybe you're rig)(t to be worried.

GA: Please Elaborate

CC: O)( rig)(t! S)(e was a little down, s)(e wasn't )(appy and energetic like usual! And w)(en I asked w)(y we )(adn't seen )(er around muc)(, she just laug)(ed a little and said s)(e was busy and struggling in mat)(. It was weird. You know Nep, s)(e's usually all )(appy and on about )(er roleplaying and cat and s)(ippings, but t)(is time s)(e seemed kind of sad and s)(e said t)(at one t)(ing about mat)(. It just wasn't like )(er...and t)(en w)(en I talked about Eridan and Sol, s)(e didn't start talking about s)(ips or anyt)(ing. S)(e was just reely quiet...

GA: This Is Concerning

GA: Nepeta Does Not Seem Like Herself

GA: Even To The Others

CC: Oh, w)(o else )(ave you talked to?

GA: Terezi, Jade And Equius

GA: And I Plan To Talk To Sollux, Gamzee, Tavros And Aradia Still

GA: I Want To Be Certain Before I Decide If We Should Tell The Others Everything And/Or Do Something About This Possible Problem

CC: Okay. Keep me filled in, cuttlefish! I will let you know if I notice anyt)(ing else!

GA: I Will, And Please Keep Me Posted As Well

CC: I shore will!

- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC] -

You sit back and steeple your fingers, thinking. You haven't learned anything new, but definitely something concerning: Nepeta's apparent lack of interest in roleplaying and shipping. Her lack of energy and discussion of her cat also strikes you as odd. She usually talks quite a bit and with a lot of cheer, but last night she seemed tense, down and didn't speak much for her. Not only that, but Nepeta loves her cat. For her not to mention Pounce at least once strikes you as odd. And discussing schoolwork? It seems so...mundane for Nepeta.

You frown slightly and reach into your backpack near your armchair. You take out a sleek black fedora and place it on your head. You feel a bit like a detective, investigating around your friend, and you have a desire to dress the part. Besides, it looks lovely with your jade green T-shirt and blue-black jeans. You always dress as fashionably as possible.

You refocus on the matter at hand.

Who to speak with next? Hmm...someone who Nepeta didn't talk to last night. That will give you a better perspective on timeframe...

In that case, Gamzee is a good bet. He knows Nepeta quite well-the two are closer than some in your friend group realize. He will definitely have noticed anything strange going on with her. He has even previously confided to you that he regards Nepeta as something of a younger sister.

- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling terminallyCapricious [TC] -

TC: HeY sIs

GA: I Would Like To Discuss Nepeta With You

TC: WhAt AbOuT?

GA: Have You Noticed Anything Odd With Her Lately

TC: LiKe WiCkEd FlIpPiNg WeIrD, tHe LiTtLe SiS iS jUsT nOt HeRsElF lAtElY

TC: ShE dIdN't EvEn AcCePt My MoSt ReCeNt OfFeR tO cOmE oVeR fOr SoMe WiCkEd ElIxIr AnD hAnGiNg OuT

TC: LiTtLe sIs JuSt SeEmS sO dOwN :o(

GA: So You Are Saying She Seems Sad

TC: LiKe A cLoWn WiTh No HoRnS tO hOnK :o(

GA: I...See

GA: And I Take It You Have Attempted Cheering Her Up

TC: I hAvE tRiEd EvErYtHiNg

TC: MiRaClEs AnD tHe WiCkEd ElIxIr AnD eVeRyThInG!

TC: NoThInG wOrKs :o(

TC: ShE jUsT iSn'T hErSeLf AnYmOrE

TC: AnD iT iS mAkInG mE sAd :o(

GA: I Gathered

GA: Thank You For Your Input

GA: I Am Going To Speak To The Others And We May Have To Meet To Discuss This Further

TC: I aM mOtHeRfUcKiNg GlAd To HeLp ThE lItTlE sIs In AnY wAy I cAn :o)

GA: Right

- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased trolling terminallyCapricious [TC] -

You sigh and eye the last notification. You feel like it should say 'ceased being given a headache by.'

…Well, perhaps that is unfair. After all, Gamzee isn't that bad, really. He's just hard to understand at times.

However, you have to admit that his input has been useful. He clearly concurs with the others, and that means that something is definitely going on with Nepeta.

You still feel a need to speak with the other three you had planned on talking to. You wish to be thorough.

There is only Sollux, Aradia and Tavros left.

You decide to speak to Sollux first. You will go in the order you thought of them in.

- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA] –

GA: Sollux, I Want To Talk To You About Nepeta

TA: okay what about nepeta

GA: Did You Notice Anything Odd When Speaking With Her Last Night

TA: ii mean 2he diid act a liitle weird

TA: by which ii mean ju2t that 2he 2eemed really he2iitant about a2king for my help to begiin wiith and iit2 not liike iive ever told you guy2 you even need to a2k when you need my help

TA: 2iince mo2t of you don't anyway but 2he 2eemed really he2iitant about a2king liike 2he thought iit would annoy me

TA: and then 2he wa2 2o far behiind iin her math it2 not even funny, iim not even 2ure what 2he2 been doiing iin that cla22 to get 2o far behiind

TA: 2he diidn't even know half the 2tuff 2he 2hould know and iit2 not liike nepeta wa2 ever the be2t at math but 2he wa2 never the wor2t eiither, 2he at lea2t knew what wa2 goiing on

TA: iim ju2t wonderiing what the heck 2he's been doiing to get 2o far behiind, 2he mu2t be not payiing any attentiion or doiing anythiing iin there at all.

GA: I See

GA: And Does This Concern You

TA: well iit2 2ure not liike her to 2lack off 2o much or be mii22iing 2o much

TA: 2he u2ually triie2 pretty hard to keep up wiith the cla22, 2he'2 never been thii2 bad before, 2he u2ually work2 pretty hard to keep up wiith what2 goiing on

TA: ii thiink it2 per2everance that iim looking for, but right now 2he 2eem2 to have ju2t giiven up, 2he wa2nt even tryiing la2t niight

TA: and 2he'2 u2ually not so he2iitant about approachiing one of u2 for help, and 2he'2 u2ually 2o energetic

TA: 2he'2 actiing weiird.

GA: I See

GA: This Is Useful, Thank You

TA: uhhh…2ure

GA: I Have Others To Speak With, But I Believe There May Be Something Wrong With Nepeta

GA: I Am Debating Having Us All Meet To Discuss It In Person

TA: okay

GA: I Will Keep You Posted

- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA] –

You sit up and stretch out your back. It is growing stiff from sitting. You have been at this for two hours—detective work is time-consuming and exhausting.

You put aside your laptop and stand to walk around a bit while you think. Nepeta, lacking energy and drive, as well as what Sollux and you would call perseverance. The part about her not even seeming to care concerns you as well—Nepeta never just gave up on her studies like that. Granted, she often became frustrated by them, but even then she was animated about them. Besides, her apparent lack of progress in her studies causes her homework excuses to not make sense. If she is so far behind in her studies that she doesn't even know what her homework is or how to do it, then it doesn't make sense for her to be consistently leaving to do homework, any more than it would make sense for her to have so much homework to begin with.

Frowning, you return from your short walk and sit down again, preparing to contact your last two people: Aradia and Tavros.

- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling apocalypseArisen [AA] –

GA: Aradia, As You Are A Good Friend Of Nepeta's, I Have A Question I Believe You Can Help Me With

AA: 0kay, what is it?

GA: Have You Noticed Anything Strange About Nepeta's Behavior Of Late

AA: well n0w that y0u menti0n it, she has seemed d0wn f0r a while and she d0esn't talk t0 me much anym0re

AA: n0t that she's av0iding me, but she seems l0nely and kind 0f sad

AA: ribbit

You had forgotten your friend's strange propensity for random ribbits in her typing, a thing you attribute to the fact that she likes frogs quite a bit.

GA: I See

GA: You Are The Seventh Person To Have Concurred With My Opinion

GA: I Think There Is Something Going On With Nepeta

GA: I Am Probably Going To Request We All Meet In School To Discuss This

GA: I Will Let You Know

AA: 0kay!

- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased trolling apocalypseArisen [AA] –

These conversations are getting shorter and shorter.

You have one last person: Tavros.

- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling adiosToreador –

GA: Tavros, Have You Noticed Nepeta Behaving Strangely Of Late

AT: uH,,

AT: wELL,,

AT: kIND OF, yEAH,

AT: sHE SEEMS REALLY, uH, dOWN LATELY,,,

AT: aND, uH, i'M KIND OF WORRIED ABOUT HER,,,

GA: Have You Noticed Anything Else

AT: sHE'S DISTRACTED A LOT,

AT: nOT HER NORMAL DISTRACTION, bUT, uH, mORE ANXIOUS DISTRACTION

AT: aND, uH, sHE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK OR HANG OUT REALLY

GA: I See

GA: I Am Going To Create A Memo Now

GA: I Will Speak With You Shortly

- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased trolling adiosToreador –

Time for the final stage of this investigation.

- CURRENT grimAuxiliatrix [CGA] opened a memo RIGHT NOW –

You are not sure why it insists on putting 'CURRENT grimAuxiliatrix.' Who else would you be but the present you?

- CURRENT grimAuxiliatrix [CGA] made this memo private and invite-only –

- CURRENT grimAuxiliatrix [CGA] invited CURRENT adiosToreador [CAT], CURRENT twinArmaggedons [CTA], CURRENT carcinoGeneticist [CCG], CURRENT apocalypseArisen [CAA], CURRENT cuttlefishCuller [CCC], CURRENT centaursTesticle [CCT], CURRENT terminallyCapricious [CTC], CURRENT gallowsCalibrator [CGC], CURRENT arachnidsGrip [CAG], CURRENT caligulasAquarium [CCA], CURRENT gardenGnostic [CGG], and CURRENT tentacleTherapist [CTT] –

CGA: As Many Of You Seem To Have Noticed, There Is Something Up With Nepeta

CGA: I Have Opened This Memo Because I Would Like To Request That You All Meet With Me In The Empty Math Classroom In Corridor G Monday Morning

CGA: If Possible I Would Like You All To Arrive An Hour Early For This Discussion

CGA: However If Not Possible I Regret To Inform You You Will All Have To Miss Class

CGA: The Wellbeing Of Our Friend Trumps School In My Opinion

CGA: Please Be There

CGA: It Is Imperative

You close your laptop then. Let them talk amongst themselves. You know they will all show. You will simply return later to close the memo—best to let them talk it out together and get out any complaints or worries now.

**So that's the second chapter. Hope you guys liked it, third chapter should be up within a week. Side note: someone please tell me if amongst is really a word, because FF underlined it in red and now I'm not sure.**

**Oh, also, I'd like to thank Teehee and SteelTalons310 for reviewing; I was really nervous that everyone would hate this fic, so it kind of made my entire day when you guys took the time to let me know you actually liked it!**

**Reviews from others are much appreciated! Until next time :)**

**-Ashe**


	3. Nepeta: Go to school

**All right, chapter three is here!**

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\  
TRIGGER WARNING: There is sexual harassment in this chapter. I guess some might not consider that trigger-worthy, but I think it is, so if you think that will trigger you or make you uncomfortable, don't read-I guess skip that part? Sorry :P  
****/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**  


**Disclaimer: I don't own Homestuck.**

Nepeta: Go to school.

Your alarm goes off with a loud beeping sound, jolting you from sleep and shattering your dreams. It was the first good one you've had in a long while, a dream where you and your friends hung out and they actually noticed you for once.

It probably would have turned dark at some point, but for now you savor the dream for a moment before your loud, eardrum-shattering alarm clock's beeps force you out of bed.

You shower and dress quickly. It's just about 7:45 as you head for the door, and school starts at 8:10. You usually make it there walking in fifteen minutes. You've taken to walking because the school's fairly close anyway, and besides, you can't seem to get up early enough to catch a bus these days. You sleep a lot. Heck, you basically slept the whole weekend—you only got up to feed Pounce.

Guiltily, you think of your undone schoolwork, weighing heavily on your mind. You shrug it off as you grab your bag.

Out of reflex, you reach for your hat and then remember it's not there. Self-consciously, you run a hand through your hair, wincing at the tangles. Your hair is a mess, and the hat used to hide it, but not anymore…still, it's not like your friends commented on it.

Then again, maybe they just didn't care.

Sighing, you shake your head and leave the apartment, locking the door behind you. You have left Pounce with some food for the day, and hopefully that and the water will tide her over until you get home.

You trudge down the stairs, successfully not tripping—that's always a good sign for a Monday—and walking out onto the sidewalk. Of course, within five minutes of walking, you catch your foot on the lip of the sidewalk and take a spill, scraping up your chin and your hands and sending your bag flying. Sighing, you get to your feet, wipe off the blood from your chin, and trudge forward to pick up your bag.

Ten more thankfully uneventful minutes later and you are walking down the hallways of your school—Calliope High.

The hallways are crowded as usual, and you duck and weave around people until suddenly, a foot catches you. Down you go, your things sprawling all over the place as your face meets the floor. Almost immediately, there is a kick to your head, although whether intentional or accidental you can't tell. Usually your hat would cushion the blow, but not in this case. Your hat is, after all, missing, and so you feel a dull but extremely painful thud to your head that leaves your eyes watering. You curl up against the wall and struggle back to your feet, dodging people as you hurry to gather your things.

Textbook. Notebooks. Agenda. Pencil case. Sketchbook…

You don't have your sketchbook. Worse, you can't find it anywhere.

You straighten up, looking around in vain, but it is gone, presumably taken.

You take a deep breath, trying not to panic. The last thing you need are those drawings seen by people who hate you…what they might do to them…

Oddly enough, below the panic, you find yourself completely numb. You have no real reaction, just this sort of surface panic. Below that, there's absolutely nothing—just a blank space devoid of feelings. Numbness.

"Nepeta?"  
You look over to see John Egbert and Dave Strider. John's the one who spoke, and Dave is just standing there with his shades on, doing his cool thing.

You force a smile for the short teen. He's even shorter than you, which is saying something. "Hi, John."

"Are you okay?"

His slightly high-pitched and slightly scratchy voice has always struck you as somewhat adorable, although you were never very close friends with him or Dave. "I'm fine," you answer with a smile. "Um, how are you?"

"I'm fine," John says with a smile. Dave, apparently bored, wraps his arms around John's shoulders and rests his head on top of John's head. John starts blushing. "D-Dave, what are you doing?"

Rather than answer, Dave starts playing with John's hair.

You blink. That never happened when they were just friends… "Are you two…together?"

"U-um, yeah," John says with a small smile and an even darker blush. "Going on two months now."

"John finally got the nerve to admit he's gay," Dave informs you stoically. How very…Dave, you think.

What surprises you about this is that somehow, someway, you have missed the forming of a new ship _and _the following canonization of it. And somehow…you don't care.

That is the part that surprises you, but only mildly. Your sudden lack of caring about your ships and the fact that you missed one is probably an indicator of something…but you can't think why you should care.

In the past, it would have annoyed you. Now, nothing.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

John's voice jolts you back to Earth. "Um, yeah, of course!" you chirp with a smile. "Oh, I have to get going, John! I'll see you later, okay?" You take off down the hall without waiting for an answer.

Your first class is math—geometry. The class that you had to get Sollux to help you with at that get-together on Friday…the one that feels like it was so long ago.

You sit down in the back with a sigh. The teacher gave up on you a while ago, and you are so hopelessly lost that you don't even try anymore. You aren't even sure that Sollux could pull you out of the hole you've dug yourself into in math class, even if he gave you daily tutoring.

You drop your bag and stuff it under your chair, casting a wary eye around at your fellow classmates. All the ones near you are faceless and nameless to you, people you don't know who don't know you. Good…they won't care about you, which means they shouldn't bother you.

You put your head down and take a nap. It's not enough, and you already dread the moment when you will have to wake up in an hour when the bell rings, but you're just so tired…and it's not like you'll learn anything staying awake in this class anyway. Besides, you think, yawning, study hall is next. You can just trudge there half-asleep and then nap some more in the library. Maybe you'll skip all your other classes today and just sleep in the back of the library…near the radiator…it's so warm and nice there, surrounded by books and quiet and a total lack of people…

You fall asleep undecided on the matter but with the thoughts of the library and the corner you usually occupy lulling you to dreamland.

You jolt awake about an hour later, your heart still racing and a slight cold sweat covering you as you jerk yourself out of the nightmare. You don't even remember what it was really about—but it was scary. Of course, you have nightmares almost all the time now, so what it was about didn't even really matter. It's nothing new to you. The only disappointing part is that you are now fully awake and it will probably be difficult to fall back asleep in the library.

Sighing, you stand as the bell rings and head straight for the door, keeping your head down, your eyes on the ground, and your shoulders slumped so as to make yourself less noticeable. You are shoved into the wall and lockers several times along the way, but nothing too intentional. You would know if it were, and these shoves don't feel it. Just the usual crush of kids in a hallway.

You make it to the library without even bothering to check in with your actual study hall teacher. Mrs. Kilsing won't care anyway. You head straight for the back of the room and curl up in the corner near the radiator, cozying into your usual spot and relaxing. This corner is near the reference books, and no one ever comes back here, so you are safe, at least for now.

You try to relax and close your eyes, but sleep refuses to come now. It figures—it's become one of those hopelessly restless days. You have a feeling there will be no sleeping tonight either. It's rare, but it does happen. Sometimes you switch from doing almost nothing but sleeping to struggling to even close your eyes. One of the many small annoyances of your life.

You sit up and dig in your backpack, searching for your sketchbook before you remember with a jolt that it is gone. Panic hits you again and for a moment you find it difficult to breath. Shaking your head slightly, you stand, leaving your backpack where it is. You have to find that sketchbook.

Taking off into the hall, you slip a bit on the floor but manage to catch yourself. Without even pausing, you dash off down the hallway, heading back to the spot where you lost the sketchbook this morning. You scour the hallway, but it isn't there. You duck down the next hallway, eyes so fixed on the floor that you don't even notice the other person in the hallway until you walk right into them.

Stumbling backwards, you look up to see that you have walked right into Joshua, flanked on either side by his girlfriend Candace and his best friend Grant. It is hard to believe that these three come from the same families as Eridan, Feferi and Gamzee, but there is no denying it—there is some unfortunate family resemblance between the three cousins.

The resemblance ends there, though, and you are reminded of this fact as Josh shoves you back even further. "Watch where you're going, you autistic little creep," he snarls at you.

You open your mouth to say something, but Candace beats you to the punch.

"Aw, look," she sneers. "The useless little kitty has something to say! Going to try and defend yourself, you little bitch? You can't run from the truth, you know—you're a creep." She laughs. "Even your friends think so! And who can blame them, with all that shit—I mean, 'shipping' you do. It's obsessive, hon. You're exceptionally creepy—and everyone knows it."

You fall silent, unable to defend yourself now. Is it true? Is that why they've been excluding you? You begin to feel some despair for your friendships.

Candace laughs again. It's a high-pitched, fake laugh that you can't stand, and it's cruel and not at all bubbly and sweet like Feferi's. "Cat got your tongue? But I thought they were your friends, cats! Don't tell me one's taken your tongue—that leaves you with no one at all." She smirks at you.

You drop your eyes to the ground, shoulders slumping slightly. You don't want to look at Candace as she says these things…they hurt too much, especially when you think they might be true. You can feel the beginnings of tears in your eyes, and you fight not to release them. You can vaguely hear Candace continuing, but you try and ignore it as you stare at the ground.

Suddenly, you find yourself yanked up into the air and slammed into a locker. Grant has grabbed you by the front of your jacket and hoisted you up against the locker. It's a painful process, and just a few inches behind him you can see Candace, her bright violet eyes blazing. The color reminds you of Feferi's, because the two share the same unusual eye color, but the expression doesn't. Feferi would never look at you the way Candace is now—with a mix of contempt, fury and disgust.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you," Candace spits in your direction. For good measure, she stalks closer and slaps you hard across the face. You flinch as it stings your cheek.

Something possesses you then, causing you to spit out a short, "No." The instant it's out, you curse yourself, wondering why you said that. What even came over you?

Candace scowls, twisting her pretty face. "You. Little. Bitch." She slaps you a second time and you whimper. Candace growls and then motions at Grant, who promptly slams you hard into the lockers a second time and then drops you on the ground, dazed and aching.

Candace leans down and whispers in your ear, a harsh and cold whisper, "You're completely useless, kitty cat. Last I checked, no one had any need for creepy autistic little bitches, especially not ones as weak as you." She stands and gives you a contemptuous kick in the stomach.

You groan and curl up in a ball, coughing slightly.

Candace glowers at you for a moment, seeming to debate how to get to you in a more effective way than just physical punishment. After a moment, a smirk spreads across her face. "Josh."

The obedient boyfriend, tall and with dark blue eyes, steps forward.

"The book."

Josh places a familiar looking book into her outstretched hand. After a moment, you realize why it's familiar—it's your sketchbook.

You gasp and struggle to sit up, flailing wildly for the book. "G—give it back!" you gasp in the moment before you are kicked back to the ground by Grant. You cough as he kicks you a second time and catches you in the back and knocks the air out of you, leaving you gasping. "G—give—give…it…ba…ck…" you gasp out, struggling for breath.

Candace smirks. "Oh, I will. Right after I…" She opens the sketchbook. "Do this." She rips a page out of the sketchbook and shreds it.

You gasp, staring at her. No…not your drawings…not the things you've worked so hard on! NO!

Candace grins. "Aw, the kitty cat loves her drawings. Well, I guess we know now why you've never had a relationship—you were making out with your sketchbook!" She rips out another page.

"Wait," Josh suddenly interrupts.

Candace turns, eyes blazing again. "_What_?"

"I have a better idea than ripping it," Josh offers.

Candace ceases to be angry, instead intrigued. "Oh?"

"Instead of ripping it…" Josh glances at you and then leans closer to Candace, whispering into her ear. As he speaks, a smirk spreads across Candace's face. When he stops, Josh steps away and Candace starts to giggle. To you, it sounds a tad…psychotic.

Candace smirks down at you. "Well, little kitty, you're in luck," she giggles. "You'll be getting your sketchbook back in one piece! Just a bit…later." She cackles. "And by the way, we're done with you…at least for now. But don't hold your breath, sweetie—we'll be back." Giggling, Candace turns and walks away, Josh and Grant following closely behind.

You sigh and sit up, watching them leave. You understand the threat of them returning later, but you are simply too numb and exhausted to care. You lean back against the lockers, trying to ignore the fresh pain in your back and shoulders.

It's always like this. Every day just leaves you hurting and tired. You tug at your sleeves and close your eyes, wishing you had your iron or something, anything, despite the fact that you are in school.

"Nepeta?"

Kanaya? You open your eyes and sit up, turning to see, sure enough, Kanaya. "Hi, Kanaya," you say, plastering your trademark adorable smile onto your face.

Kanaya looks down at you with a slightly worried frown. "Nepeta, are you all right?"

You remember you are still sitting down and push yourself to your feet, brushing the dirt off your blue cat tail and trying to conceal the pain from your complaining shoulders, back and stomach. "Of course!" you say to Kanaya, injecting your tone with a cheeriness you definitely don't feel.

"What are you doing out here?" Kanaya asks you.

"I'm looking for…my…hat," you say quickly, with only slight hesitation. You don't want to tell her what's really missing—she might offer to help look for it, and you don't want to deal with that…

Granted, you admit that your hat being in this hallway plus you sitting on the floor looks a bit odd, not to mention slightly implausible. But you don't think Kanaya will care—none of your friends do anymore.

"Oh. Would you like some help with that?" Kanaya asks you politely.

She's certainly only asking out of courtesy. Besides, you know your hat isn't here. "No thanks…I can't find it," you say with a small smile. "I'm just going to go back to the library now." Before Kanaya can answer, you take off down the hall and head for the library.

Once back in the library, you make your way back to your spot, relieved to see your things haven't been taken. You collapse next to the heater, trying to make yourself comfortable despite the pain in your shoulders and back. It's difficult, but after some wriggling around, you manage to find a position that doesn't hurt too much. You use your bag as a pillow, resting your head on it as you settle near the heater. It's certainly not the most comfortable pillow, but it works.

You scoot a little closer to the heater. Warmth always helps your injuries feel better, at least for a bit.

You yawn slightly and relax now that you're alone. A few moments later, you drift into a half-asleep state, eyes mostly shut, just barely conscious. Not long after, maybe ten minutes, you fall into a true sleep. You can hear the bell ringing as you drift off, but you can't be bothered. After all, it's only English next…nothing too important…

You awaken with a slight jolt some time later. You sit up, mouth dry, unsure of the time, disoriented and still somewhat groggy. You take a moment to remember where you are and struggle to fight off the sleep attempting to reclaim you. The energy from the slight jolt has already worn off…

You bring yourself mostly back to the present by remembering your dream. It was depressing and discomforting, as usual—you had been alone in a maze. You recalled having entered it with your friends, but one by one they'd abandoned you…leaving you, the lonely little kitty, to be torn apart by enormous, vicious beasts. They resembled the dog you'd been attacked by when you were seven…

And you had watched yourself die, violently and painfully.

You shiver and sniffle slightly, trying to hold back tears. The dream—nightmare—made you sad, and it's left you with an anxious and discomfited feeling. All you want is to forget it, but you never can—they're all too vivid.

Sighing, you try to shake off the last of the sleep and check the time. You realize, to your shock, that it is 1:33. When you came in here, it had only been 10:55…

You slept through two bells, English, history, part of art and lunch. It surprises you a bit, although you don't think it should…after all, you sleep a lot. Heck, you spent the whole weekend sleeping, basically.

Nevertheless, you can't believe you slept through two whole bells.

You yawn and wonder if you should go to art now. It doesn't seem like there's much point—with only fifteen minutes of class left and you missing your sketchbook, there's not much you could do…

Sighing, you lean back against the heater, wincing as your now stiff muscles protest slightly. The already-forming bruises twinge as well.

The reminder of your rough treatment earlier brings your attention to your wrists. Rolling up your sleeves, you are relieved to see that none of them have broken open. If you were walking around school dripping blood…well.

You take a book off the shelf at random. Looking at it, you find that it is the encyclopedia of mental disorders. Well…it's fine reading for fifteen minutes, you guess…

You open to a random page. Depression. You skip to the section about depression with psychosis and start reading.

For some reason, mental disorders have begun to fascinate you of late. It's the only thing you're interested in—it's like there's something driving you, like the last string keeping you alive has suddenly focused all its attention on mental illnesses, and it's the only thing you spend time reading about anymore.

Your fifteen minutes pass quickly, and when the bell rings, you stand with a sigh and drag yourself to chemistry.

Chemistry is the only class of the day that you have with Equius. Unfortunately, Aradia is also in that class…and Equius always sits next to her, works with her on every project and assignment…

You collapse in the same seat you always sit in, way in the back. The bell rings to signify that students should get to class—it's the warning bell. At that moment, Equius walks in with Aradia. You don't even bother to look where they're going to sit because they'll sit together no matter wh—

Wait.

As you watch in spite of yourself, Equius stops and says something to Aradia, then walks over towards…you.

He sits down in the seat next to yours. "Greetings, Nepeta."

You sit up in the chair and put on your smile. It's a bit late, but it works nonetheless…you hope. "Hi, Equius! How are you today?"

"I'm doing well, and yourself?" your best friend asks you.

"I'm great," you chirp with enthusiasm. It almost shocks you how easily the lie pours out of your mouth. Granted, it's only a small one, but you never used to be able to tell even a one-word lie.

At that moment the bell rings, and class begins. As Mr. Teri begins teaching, you struggle to pay attention but give up after a moment. You are beyond lost in this class, similarly to every single other class, and you don't even know what's going on. The only reason you don't put your head down and sleep is that you don't want Equius questioning you, and he would definitely notice as he is sitting right next to you. Instead, you stay sitting upright, but simply don't listen. You can almost feel your expression glazing over, not that you think Equius notices…

Your thoughts are interrupted by sudden movement of people around you. It must be a lab, you realize, and resign yourself to working alone, because no one else wants to be your partner and surely Equius is going to partner with Aradia.

"Nepeta, would you like to be my partner?"

You turn to see Equius asking you the question you have hoped to hear from him since the beginning of school two months ago. It doesn't even spark a reaction in you, though, as you know it's only a one-time thing. You're already resigned to that. "Sure," you say with an excitement you're completely faking.

"Good," Equius says, taking the lab papers as they are passed out.

You briefly scan the paper. It's complete gibberish to you. Electrons…mixing compounds…you have no idea what any of it is talking about. Nonetheless, you can't say that to Equius. You don't want your best friend to know how far behind you are…

"Shall we get to work?" Equius asks you.

"Sure!" you say, wondering who Aradia is going to work with now. You don't look for her, though. You want to pretend, at least for this moment, that you don't have to worry about your two friends getting together for real and completely leaving you behind.

"All right. So first we need some sulfur and some beryllium to mix," Equius says. "I will get the materials. You start working on the transference of electrons and the balancing equation."

You nod, pretending like you have any clue what he's talking about, and Equius goes to get the chemicals.

You turn your eyes to the paper and wince when you see the gibberish awaiting you. The headache is already coming on, and that's saying something as you already had a headache from that kick to the head this morning…

You sigh and start struggling to figure out what the heck to do with it. Five minutes later, Equius returns, and you still haven't made any progress.

"Nepeta, are you struggling at all with these problems?" Equius asks after seeming to have caught sight of your still blank paper.

"Oh, no," you say. "I just…haven't written down my answers yet, that's all!"

Equius hesitates for a second, then nods. "All right. Let us mix these, then. We have to record the reaction."

You nod and are about to reach for the beaker when Equius suddenly says, "I'll do it."

Well, some things never change. Both Equius and Gamzee always went out of their way to keep you out of harm's way—even if it was something as simple as handling liquid beryllium.

Of course, neither one of them really does that much anymore.

Thinking of Gamzee, you wonder where he is today. He has art class with you, and usually if you don't show within the first five minutes, he goes looking for you in the library. Not today, though…

Maybe Gamzee is starting to abandon you too. You sigh softly. You suppose it was inevitable, but…

Equius has always been your best friend—or rather, was always your best friend. You aren't sure it's valid anymore, but... You've known each other since first grade. But Gamzee…Gamzee was like your older brother. The two of you had lived in the same building, in next-door apartments, for ten years. When you were in kindergarten and he was in second grade and you were terrified of going to class on the first day, Gamzee calmed your nerves and walked you to class, even though it had made him late. Kindergarten to fourth grade, every afternoon was spent in his house because neither of your parents were ever home and Gamzee didn't want you to be home alone. When you were in fourth grade and Gamzee moved, he made sure you knew the way to his new house by heart. When you ran away from home in sixth grade because you were mad at your parents during one of the few times they were home, Gamzee let you stay at his house overnight, even though Equius thought you should go home. Gamzee knew it would make you miserable, and he let you stay and have fun with him instead. When you were in seventh grade and kids were mean to you, Gamzee spent every day after school with you, cheering you up and making sure you were okay, even though his other ninth grade friends didn't understand why he was hanging out with a little middle schooler. He even dropped them as friends when they started trying to get you to stop being so close with Gamzee. No matter what happened, Gamzee had always been there to look out for you and keep you safe, like an older brother would. He had gotten held back twice for failing ninth grade and then tenth last year, mostly due to his stoning, something he had cut down on a bit since, and so the two of you were in the same grade despite him being two years older than you, but up until this year he had still been like an older brother to you.

This year, though…this year, there was sudden distance. Even Gamzee was leaving you.

Another sigh escaped you, and Equius looked up at you. You suddenly realize that you have missed two reactions of chemicals you should have been watching.

"Nepeta, are you feeling all right?" Equius queries.

"Of course!" you answer, shaking yourself slightly and sitting up. You feign knowledge and interest as best you can for the rest of the period, but it doesn't keep you from having to hand in a blank paper at the end of the day.

Still, at least school is over now and you can go home…

You trudge to your locker extremely slowly, reaching it by the time the hallways are mostly empty. Good thing you don't take a bus home…

You open your locker, wondering if there will be any unpleasant surprises in it today. You know that Candace has somehow figured out your locker combination—she's left notes in it before, alongside the occasional object. You have thrown away most of the objects, but you've kept the notes for some sick reason. You have them all in a box at home…

You look inside…

And your heart nearly shatters as you see the remains of your cut-up and burned hat at the bottom of the locker.

You drop your bag and lean into the locker to pick up the remains, hugging them to your chest and fighting tears for the third time that day.

At that moment, a shove from behind lands you pretty much inside the locker with a painful thud. As if your head didn't hurt enough already…

You needn't worry about being locked in there, though, as you are quickly yanked free from the locker and tossed onto the floor so you find yourself looking up at Grant, Josh and Candace.

Candace smirks as she sees you clutching the remains of the hat, which even the shove and the yank couldn't shake loose from your death grip. Equius gave you this hat, and even cut to pieces and burned to a crisp in spots, it's still valuable to you.

"I see you got our little present," she giggles. "Did you just _love_ it, kitty cat?" As you fight against the tears again, Candace smirks. "No? Weeeeell. Don't worry, love, because you're in luck. We've got something else for you! You'll have to wait a bit to get it, though…." She snickers and then slams your locker shut and hoists you up by your shirt, shoving you against the locker. "I think we should play a game~!"

You pale. Ever since Candace discovered that you were bi, and actually leaned more towards girls than guys (despite that long-time crush on Karkitty), she has invented a game.

You have no idea how she learned about your sexuality—you kept it pretty quiet—but the results have not been pretty.

Candace drags you back to earth by kissing your cheek. You squirm away, but you know it's only just starting.

This kiss to the cheek is followed by Candace forcing another one on your lips. You shut your eyes tightly in an effort to hold back tears. This, you fully understand, classes as sexual harassment, but you can't say anything to anyone. It would just end in worse things from Candace—you've already figured out that she's pretty unhinged. When this happened, you aren't sure, but she is.

You yelp as Candace's cold fingers suddenly touch your spine.

Candace laughs and drops you on the floor. "I win this round, kitty~" she purrs.

You look away, feeling sick to your stomach. This 'game' makes you feel awful.

Candace sighs. "Done playing for the day? Fine. Have this." She dangles your sketchbook in front of your face.

You hesitate, eyeing her. It can't be that easy… You reach for it anyway, and are promptly proved right as her sharp boot connects with your ribs. You cough and wince.

"Sorry, _love_, just decided it's not going to be that easy," Candace spits at you. "Grant. Josh."

Grant and Josh move closer. You hate them so much…and you hate them even more as Josh hoists you to your feet just in time for Grant to kick you backwards into your locker. Grant steps on your hand next, and your eyes widen as a sharp pain shoots through your pinkie finger. You hear a slight crack coming from it.

Candace apparently hears it too, because she smirks. "Oh, sounds like you won't be drawing anytime soon, kitty cat! Three fingers don't work quite as well as four, do they?"

Grant pauses.

Candace glares at him and spits, "Why are you stopping? Keep going! You don't stop until I say it's done."

Grant doesn't question it, just returns his attention to you.

As more kicks and some punches hit, you wonder vaguely where the teachers are. True, school's over, and most students are gone, but there must be a teacher here, somewhere…

But of course, no one comes to your rescue, as no one ever does.

A kick to your arm elicits the most volatile reaction you've had yet as your cuts rip open. You let out a noise that's more a screech than anything else.

"Stop," Candace commands. She looks down as you, curled up on the floor, and her purple eyes sparkle with an evil malice. "I guess you can have this back now…" Candace drops your sketchbook next to you.

You force yourself to sit up and pick up the sketchbook.

Candace smirks down at you. "Open it."

Hesitantly, you do so, and find the first page…completely wrecked. There are scribbles all over the drawing…

Horrified, you flip through the rest of it and feel your heart breaking again as you see nothing but awful scribbles all over once-beautiful drawings.

You can't hold it in any more. Tears drip down your cheeks, and you can taste the salt as they slide past your lips and land on the pages, smearing the ink scribbles.

Candace laughs. "My work here is—" She suddenly pauses and fixates on you with an almost predatory interest. "Nepeta. Is that _blood_ on your arm?"

You look and see blood staining the arm of your coat. It's staining quickly, too.

Candace stares at you for a moment and then yanks you to your feet and rips the sleeve up. Seeing the multitude of cuts, Candace starts to laugh. "Well, well, isn't this just precious!" She cackles. "Sweet little kitty is hurting herself—isn't that comical." She cups your chin and yanks your head up to meet her eyes. "This is a treat for me, sweetie. But I don't think this will end so well for you." She drops you on the floor and starts to walk away. As she goes, Candace calls back, "You know, if you're in so much pain, you might as well just end it—no one wants you here anyway." Then she vanishes out the door.

You sit for a moment, stunned, and then curl up in a ball and sob, crying until you're hiccupping and shaking and even coughing. Your head is killing you and your nose starts to run as you sniffle and rock back and forth, arms wrapped around your knees. You can't stop now that you've started, and you keep crying and crying until you start to dry heave. Finally, you force yourself on all fours in spite of the protests from your hands and wrists and proceed to take deep breaths. It's a struggle at first, but eventually you manage to calm down some.

You sit back against the locker and sniffle, wiping your nose on your sleeve. You're going to have to wash this thing anyway, so it doesn't matter much.

You look down and realize you look terrible. Your clothes are in complete disarray, your pinkie is swelling up, your clothes and jacket are streaked with blood and tears, and you can't imagine your face isn't covered in tear streaks with red cheeks and nose.

Sighing, you thank God that at least you won't encounter anyone on the way home. You pick up your things, your bag, your ruined sketchbook, the remains of your hat, and head for the door. On the way out, you drop the sketchbook and hat in the trash. It hurts, but looking at them hurts more…

You leave school unnoticed and head onto the street going home. Every muscle in your body is protesting…but you keep walking anyway.

As you walk, you eye your pinkie. It is swelling, and there was that crack, but you can still move it, so maybe it's not broken, but…you think you might have to go to the hospital. You have no idea what you'd tell them, though…

You'll have to clean yourself up first, too.

Sighing, you go home, drop your bag off, rebandage your cuts, wash your jacket, change your clothes and shower before dressing in clean clothes and putting your clean jacket back on. You debate for a moment, then walk to the nearby urgent care clinic. They never ask questions—they just x-ray you, bandage you up and send you home. It'll do.

You are there within half an hour, although you are now dreading the walk home. You were at school nearly an hour, and it's now about 6:00 and already dark. You can't help but think that walking home will not be fun—you'll probably trip over things about a million times, and it's probably going to be painful.

You enter the clinic at 6:03 and they take you within half an hour.

"What seems to be the issue?" asks the disinterested male doctor with a sigh.

You hold up your hand and show your pinkie.

He nods and then calls for an x-ray. It's over quickly, and he tells you that you have a minor fracture and splints your finger, 'buddy-taping' it to the finger next to your pinkie as well. It's on your left hand, thankfully, so you can still draw and write, unlike what Candace thought.

You leave at roughly 7:00 and you are walking home in the dark when you hear, "Hey, sis!"

You turn to see Gamzee. You knew he lived near here, of course, but you weren't expecting to see him.

Gamzee approaches you and ruffles your hair. "You okay? You aren't usually out this motherfucking late, sis," he says to you. His concern is evident.

"I'm okay, Gamzee, don't worry!" you say cheerfully. You feel a twinge of guilt at lying to Gamzee—he'd be upset to know you were, and even more so if he knew what had happened. But you can't tell him…you just can't.

"You sure, sis?"

"Of course! I just went fur a walk, and now I'm going home," you explain. Not leaving anything out there, nope, definitely not...

"I'll walk you home, sis," Gamzee says to you. You know he's right that you shouldn't walk home alone—the general area you and Gamzee live in gets kind of dangerous at night.

"Um, 'kay," you agree. The two of you set off down the street.

Despite it only being seven, you are already yawning and exhausted, and after Gamzee has to catch you after you trip five separate times within fifteen minutes, he stops you.

"You sure you're okay, sis?" Gamzee asks, looking down at you. The height difference is always very obvious—you barely hit 4'11", while Gamzee is 6 feet.

"Yeah, I'm s…" You pause to yawn, exposing your unusually long and sharp canines. "Sure," you finish.

Gamzee frowns and then decides, "Well, you're not going to make it home like this, sis, all motherfuckin' tripping all over the place and stuff, and not the good kind…" He picks you up then and puts you on his shoulders. "There. Motherfucking perfect."

You giggle, Gamzee's presence finally lifting you out of your bad mood as you wrap your arms around so that you're hanging on to him. He used to carry you around like this all the time when you were kids because you always tired easily when you were little.

Ten minutes later, you're back at your apartment, and you can feel the gloom settling in at the thought of Gamzee leaving.

He sets you down gently. "Night, little sis," he says, ruffling your hair again.

You giggle a little, although it sounds half-hearted to you. Gamzee doesn't say anything, and you don't think he noticed, but there's a slight change in his expression—he looks a bit more…worried, somehow—so maybe be he did. It doesn't matter, though… "Night, Gamzee. See you tomorrow. Stay safe walking home," you add.

"I'll be a-okay," he says to you with a smile. He waits until you go into the building to leave, and you go up to your apartment. You realize you haven't fed Pounce yet, and proceed to do so. After this is done, you collapse on the couch, suddenly wide-awake. You put the TV on and sit there and watch it mindlessly until one am, when you finally pass out on the couch.

**The Candace part was...interesting, but I think it works.  
**

**I hope people liked that last bit with Gam and Nep 3 I really like them as having a kind of best friend/siblings relationship. Might be because I cosplay Nep and my best friend does Gam, but I think it's so cute!**

**I'd like to thank the people who reviewed, especially TeeHee for sending another review ;3; You guys are all awesome!**

**Chapter four will be up within about a week!**


	4. Author's Note

**Oh look, an author's note. Well that can't be good!**

**All right guys, I've got something to let y'all know: I have approximately no idea when the next chapter will be up. Between college applications, school, and recently being given a week to get out of my house and figure out where to live and how to pay for college, writing isn't my top priority as of currently. I am really sorry, and if I do happen to finish anything between now and whenever the heck my life settles down again, it will be published. I'm not discontinuing the story or anything. I'm just letting you all know that I'm not currently sure when the next chapter of this story is going to be up, and so I apologize if it takes weeks.**

**Hope y'all understand and that everyone's doing well. I'll still do my best to get updates for my stories and the like, but I apologize if it takes longer than people would like.**

**-Ashe**


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